I can pin-point the precise moment when the weekend went to proverbial shit. I remember a foreboding feeling, and shrugging it off in a moment of feigned self-control.
I was in the VONS supermarket, shopping on Saturday morning, after my chiropractic appointment. I had just been in the frozen foods aisle, and was absolutely delighted that the Lean Cuisines were on sale for 4 for $7. I made my way to the next aisle over, which held the fat-free pudding snacks, but also held the frozen desserts. After picking up a six-pack of Fat-Free chocolate Jello pudding cups, I browsed the diet frozen dessert section, which was a bad move.
They were fully-stocked with all the SmartOnes line, along with the Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches, but they also had, on sale the Healthy Choice Vanilla Caramel Ice Cream Bars. I had fallen to these ice cream bars before, what with their delicious caramelly-flavor. They were 3-point snacks, so not exactly the wisest choice a dieter could make, but just a bit better that picking up a pint of Ben & Jerrys… or were they???
I could not resist picking up TWO of these 6-packs. The deal was just too good. And that was when I failed this weekend. I knew that these desserts hit a soft-spot in me, but I chose to purchase them in the hopes that I could override my rabid desire to gobble them up. I chose wrong.
I got home and unpacked the groceries. I was still proud of myself, having saved $43 on groceries (the total was around $36 – that’s an entire week of food people!!). I turned on the television and heated myself up a frozen Lean Cuisine – the Creamy Chicken rice bowl, I believe. It was an early lunch, I thought, coming before noon, but I figured I would be spending most the rest of the day in bed (with my bad back and all), and that I would probably nap until late into the afternoon.
After gobbling up the meal, I was not satisfied. I went to the freezer and opened up the Healthy Choice Ice cream Bars and grabbed one out. I thought to myself, “Just this one”, and gobbled this up, as well.
It was so gooood! I couldn’t help myself, I had to grab another. And before the day was through, I had gobbled my way through EIGHT of these ice cream bars. I wasn’t satisfied with just finishing off a pack, I had to open up the second as well. It was not a good day.
And yesterday wasn’t any better. I finished off the remaining pack (that’s 4), I had TWO of the Lean Cuisine Chicken Fettuccini Alfredo with Broccoli meals and TWO Lean Cuisine microwave pizzas, as well as other snacks, a couple of baked apple granola bars and pudding cups mixed in for kicks.
Needless to say, I exceeded my points values for the weekend. I felt terrible. Last night, as I was preparing my second frozen pizza in a row, I thought about this weblog, and thought about what I was going to write in this very post. I imagined the title for it, and desperately tried to examine what was motivated me to overeat.
Sure, my back was hurting me like a sonofabitch, which precluded me from going out and doing something fun, or even something constructive (like laundry), but my back pain was not being appeased by the incessant eating. I don’t know what happened, but I DO know that I have sincere control issues when it comes to dessert items, and I cannot let myself tempt myself like that any longer.
I will not be purchasing any sort of dessert-food items in the near future. I will not keep them in the house. If the urge is strong enough, I will go out and “treat” myself to a standard helping of whatever goodie I’m craving so desperately, but I will not, for god’s sake, keep a whole box of the evil food in my fridge!