November 13, 2008

Starting Anew

So it's been... awhile. When I started this blog, I was on Weight Watchers, and I saw a pretty good, pretty consistent loss - even though I wasn't always "on track". Four years later, I'm a completely different person. Most of it's great - I've been in a relationship since March of 2005, I've moved up to the Seattle area, bought a house with him, we have a wonderful Boston Terrier doggie named Zippy... I don't have a job right now, but I'm sure I'll find something new soon.

But the bad part? I'm heavier than I've ever been. Ever. I've been suffering from depression for goodness-knows how long. I'm on medication for it now, and I'm still crawling out of it. I still have days where I don't want to get out of bed - still have times where I don't want to do any housework or even do things that I normally LIKE to do. It's not fun, and certainly not fun for my significant other. He's had a rough go of it, watching me pack on over 50 pounds since we met, watching me go from a happy-go-lucky person who likes to go on adventures, to someone who doesn't even want to leave the house.

Also, I have had a serious lower-back problem. It's a nagging problem, but this last time I had to go through months of physical therapy, took more time than I wanted to off from work, and have been generally uncomfortable for too long. I still have days when I wake up feeling stiff, and it hurts to walk. But I know that this problem is 100% related to my weight. My small stature just can't handle all of this heft.

I downloaded a cool-looking weight tracking application for my iPhone (I'm a bit of a techie), and that prompted to get me on the scale last week... and I nearly fainted. I couldn't think of anything else for the next two days. So last Saturday, in the wee hours of the morning, I decided I was going to go back on Weight Watchers. It was long overdue. So I snuck out of bed and went online to find the next, nearest meeting. Luckily, there was an 8:00am meeting at my local WW meeting place, so I reset my alarm for 7am, slept for a little while longer (well, TRIED to sleep), and then got up and went.

It was hard. I was nervous. I'm not an outgoing person, so going to a people-gathering of any sort makes me anxious. But I signed up and got on the scale for my first official weigh-in.

271 pounds.

More than what I saw two days earlier, but I had shoes and jeans and two top layers. I was expecting to be a bit higher, but this was the next tens-level up. 271. Gosh. For my height, I should be almost 150 lbs. lighter. I remember, many years ago, trying to get under 200 lbs. on WW, as a first step. Now, if I see 200 lbs. again it will be awesome. 71 lbs. gone.

It's a huge undertaking. HUGE. I am aware of the mental and physical work ahead of me. But there's no time like the present. I am currently in-between-jobs, so I have all the time in the world to dedicate to physical fitness (slowly ramping up, I don't want to, nor CAN I, overdo it), and eating properly.

My boyfriend is totally behind me, which is great. He's okay with eating the lower-fat foods I need to bring into the house. It's been a slow start - I didn't really get all the food I needed to get and start my tracking until yesterday (I couldn't drag ass outta the house to go to the supermarket until Tuesday).

But yesterday felt great. I even worked out a little - I played Wii Sports tennis and bowling for about 45 minutes. I did enough to work up a little sweat. My right arm is a little sore today - but it's a good sore, ya know?

So if I'm going to do this right, I need to center my mind on it. Technology is on my side, this time, and that's why I'm so optimistic about it. Weight Watchers has some e-Tools, which let you log your points online - and what's best is that it's optimized for my iPhone. I can be in the kitchen, or out at the market, and look up Points values and log them. That makes it extra-fun for me, because I love using my iPhone.

So we'll see what's going on at my next weigh-in on Saturday. I don't expect the loss to be much, because I only really started yesterday, but I'm looking forward to the next few weeks, and the next few months, and to the rest of my life.

Posted by weezgrrl at November 13, 2008 11:19 AM