November 20, 2008

Teeny Tiny Hiccup

If I thought this was going to be an easy task and that my eating habits were easily retrainable, I was wrong. Yesterday was a prime example that THIS IS A STRUGGLE. A struggle with my own lack of discipline (dot com).

I wouldn't necessarily call what I did binge eating... wait - yes, that's exactly what it was, and denying that fact just makes it "okay" to do it again. It starts out of sheer laziness on my part: around lunchtime, I wanted to eat, but I didn't want to spend the FOUR MINUTES it takes to heat up a Smart Ones frozen meal, or spend maybe all of SEVEN WHOLE MINUTES making myself a 7-point sandwich.

No, it was much easier for me to grab a 3-point Skinny Cow Cookies 'n Cream Ice Cream Sandwich (notice how I give it a certain gravitas by capitalizing each word??) out of the freezer and eat that. But of course, when I'm really hungry, one just won't do. So I had another... aaaaaand another. 9-points, gone. 9 points for hardly any nutritional value.

So of course, about three hours before dinner time, I was famished, and I was tired, and I was shaky from lack of nutrition (dot com - sorry, that's a lame joke and I'll stop now). All of that combined led me to make a bad decision: Let's order pizza for dinner! I could get away with it, right? As long as I tracked everything (see here and here), I was good, right?

Well, four slices of that pizza did me in for the day. And I could feel it. No longer was I "famished" (what a lame word to use when there is real famine out in the world), no, I was STUFFED. To the gills. And I totally didn't need that fourth piece. By the end of the third piece I was like "Now that was filling!", but no - there was that last piece of pizza on my plate. There was some semblance of self-control, however. I didn't eat a FIFTH piece.

Gah. So yesterday was bad. And why? Couple things: 1) I didn't drink water. Not until after four slices of pizza, anyways. And by the time I did, I was clearly dehydrated. Water would have helped stave off the ravenous sense of hunger which drove me to such bad decisions. 2) I took the easy way out. Had I just GOT OFF THE FRICKIN' COUCH for ten minutes I would have spent the necessary time to prepare a proper lunch. I let my quickie-meal of Skinny Cows set me up for failure for the rest of the day. Because I figured, heck, if I'm gonna blow it, why not blow it big-time, right? It's only ONE DAY, I can "make it up" for the rest of the week.

I can't think like that anymore. Or at least, that sort of thinking should be harshly discouraged. But if I learned anything from last week's Weight Watchers meeting topic, it's that success comes from when you re-focus and get back on track when you've fallen. I'm lucky, I haven't fallen hard at this point. I had an embarrassing screw-up (an even more embarrassing one if this yields no weight loss this week, or even worse, a gain). But I can't let screw-ups get in the way of my long-term goal. I need to move on, move forward - I need to just keep effing MOVING.

Speaking of moving, I'm off to grab some water.

Posted by weezgrrl at November 20, 2008 10:13 AM

I hope today was better! We've all had those days. Sounds like you've got a plan. Anyway, good luck at tomorrow's WI!


Posted by: Regan at November 21, 2008 06:19 PM

Don't let one little hiccup get you down. You are doing great! You recognized that same-old behavior that led you to where you are at and you can adjust. You and I started WW the same day (I am jen_da_bookworm on twitter) and I have enjoyed your blog.

Posted by: jen at November 22, 2008 11:08 AM
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