July 11, 2005

falling forward

I came to work this morning feeling almost excited about starting the week. "Excited" really isn't the right word, but I wasn't wishing for death. I walked out into the refreshing not-too-hot/not-too-cold morning air, started up my fantastic motor vehicle, rolled down the window and casually drove myself to work without a care in the world.

The morning was reasonable enough - I put in some dailies transfer orders, and finished up some billing. Nothing too hectic - but just enough to keep me busy. Lunchtime came around and I trekked off the lot to pickup some Taco Bell for myself and a co-worker. I stuffed myself silly (per usual), and was left feeling bloated, tired, and yes, wishing for death.

So goes the entire afternoon. Up until only a moment ago, I've had no orders, leaving me to keep myself amused. The internet is an absolute bore (I'm well-aware that I am part of the problem). iTunes on my trusted iBook is my only saving grace, but that hasn't prevented me from dozing off.

Now, I don't think I've really, actually lost consciousness this afternoon, but I did nearly fall into my computer keyboard just before starting to type this post. I wish I worked in an environment where I could use my downtime to learn some new and exciting part of the post-process, but I've been informed on several occasions that, what with union stipulations and all, that was frowned upon. Funny how managers can spoil one's dreams with smiled on their faces - as if you should remain hopeful while your soul is being sucked from you slowly.

But I digress.

The point of this post is to try to eloquate the dreadful, sometimes mind-numbing "work" I find myself doing. Or not doing. Whatever. I give up. I will be part of the problem. I will suffer through the wasteful void of day-to-day work in the hopes that maybe someday I'll be in the right place at the right time and something spectacular will happen to my career. But right now, I feel like a worker ant. A worker ant with the mental capacity to be bored out of her miniscule mind.


posted by julie at July 11, 2005 03:41 PM


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