August 02, 2005

a very disturbing trend

Several weeks ago I got stuck behind one of those ugly, gaudy monster pickup trucks on the freeway. It had the requisite American flag sticker and some performance auto-parts decals. It was obnoxious and driving way too slow to be in the fast lane.

Of course, I got right up on his ass before too long, as he must've been going about only 70mph. It was then I noticed this strange apparatus dangling from his rear tow bar. It looked like, like... OH MY GOD, are those TESTICLES?!?

Yes, yes they were truck testicles. As can be seen here. *Shudder* Not something you wanna be seeing on your way into work just before 8am. I thought this might have been a one-off thing, though. Just some strange buffoon with a foul sense of humor. I was wrong.

This morning, driving down Lankershim Blvd. towards work, I again got behind some truck monstrosity. Again, it had various American flag-themed decoration, and a nice decal that read "BLO ME". Charming. And bizarrely, he, too, was driving too slow (or maybe it's just me). It wasn't until I got right up behind him that I was again disturbed by the vision of a set of red testicles swinging from that bar behind the truck.

You know, personal expression is mostly fine by me, but jeezy creezy, these need to be outlawed. And their owners taken out and shot.

posted by julie at August 2, 2005 10:11 AM

things people have said

Yes, I have witnessed this. a couple of years ago I was driving behind a truck with big tractor tires... AND TESTICLES! There's one thing I don't miss about the USA, you don't see that here, so you'll get a respite on your vacation!

so said: Rachel at August 2, 2005 12:54 PM

thank GOD! only 35 more days... only 35 more days...

so said: julie (me) at August 2, 2005 03:47 PM

Some guy in my neighborhood has these; I find them offensive, vulgar and crude--and I'm a guy.
I've seen other websites where they make them in Camo!! I've only seen them on pick-up trucks so far, but they look like the kind of thing most HUMMER drivers would be into also. I thought this was only a Texas thing (I've lived here most of my life, so it wouldn't surprise me), but NO! It's nationwide...what a very odd thing. Makes me wonder if our troops will start putting these on the rear of their combat HUMMERS and M1 Abrams tanks...more machismo run amok...maybe they'll offer them with Collegiate logos next? I can only wonder what the rest of the world will make of this latest quirk of American culture...

so said: John at September 5, 2005 07:37 AM

My wife and I saw these on a truck the other day. We thought it was the funniest thing we'd seen in a long time. Goes along with the idea that guys who drive big trucks are compensating for small (insert favorite obscene body part here).

so said: James at September 16, 2005 08:14 PM

Boo-Hoo. cry me a river you pansy fucks. love it or leave it.

so said: nick at November 3, 2005 10:56 PM

You know, every time I see one of those "My kid is an outstanding citizen at Washington elementary school" bumper stickers stuck to back of a Toyota Priusí(that Iím positive you all here drive), I am overcome with this sudden urge to just floor the accelerator, and run the little thing over with my American-flag-plastered lifted pickup truck.

so said: Jesse at November 4, 2005 01:49 AM

ONLY going 70? Um...isn't the speed limit 70? I bet you're one of those people who do 90 on the interstate in the rain, and have the ungodly insurance premiums to prove it.

Grow up, get a sense of humor, and stop living in Victorian england.

so said: Bob at May 14, 2006 11:27 AM