September 21, 2005

stress

I've been REALLY stressed out lately, but I'm not exactly sure why. The stress has manifested itself in all sorts of different ways, but mainly, it's been firmly planted in my dreams. My dreams are, typically, pretty vivid. But usually, they're pretty nice - usually I wake in some sort of wonderment about them.

But now, now I wake up with my heart pounding, or my mind swirling - just having come to consciousness from a wacky dream full of stressful imagery and/or situations. It sucks because, when I wake up, I don't feel rested. I feel like going right back to sleep. But I can't. I have to drag ass outta bed and get the day started.

The thing I don't get is: what is stressing me? Nothing in my life is particularly bothersome right now. Just returned to work from a nearly-two week break. Coming back was, yes, a bit of a bummer, but things haven't been too crazy. Home-life is cool. My father hasn't been bothering me about stuff very much, and my brothers and I seem to behaving good vibes as of late. My personal life is, well, great. Erik just moved up to Santa Barbara to start his grad work, but we'll be seeing eachother nearly every weekend - so not much has changed there.

I guess this might just be a decompression stage for me. Or, perhaps the dreams are just my brain creating conflict for itself to resolve. In any case, they'd better stop soon, or my jaw it gonna break off from how tight it's been! (I carry a lot of stress in my jaw, I think.)


posted by julie at September 21, 2005 01:45 PM


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